Be honest about your distress

Categorized as Relationships
Girlistan - Be honest about your distress

Being honest about your distress is one of the most important of the four skills that parents can and should teach their kids. Parents must be fully honest with themselves about their feelings, worries and fears. The truth about how the world outside presents an opportunity for kids to learn how to be honest is quite interesting and is part of the “children’s book of the year” – COVID-19.

Covertly dressed in a doctor’s coat, Dr Richard Goldstein stands in the classroom and delivers his speech to the class on March 7, Covert History and Humanitarianism. This is the first of the two parts of the lesson. In the second part of the lesson, parents will learn how to tell the difference between truthful and deceptive information. Dr. Goldstein has dressed in the persona of a history teacher and speaks with an authoritative voice as if he were the principal. He uses a good example of a false fact, such as the statement, “He was born on March 13th.”

The other half of this two-hour-long presentation is the opposite of Dr. Goldstein’s truthfulness. I sat in my chair while he spoke to the class. I asked myself several times if it was possible for the truth and falsity to be both true. It seems possible to me because Dr. Goldstein makes it seem as if the students need to know the whole truth, which they do not because it means that they are either lying or avoiding learning the truth. He says, “So, how many lies have you told this morning?… Well, over fifty.”

Why is it important that we teach our children the truth about anything? There are many good reasons for teaching children the truth. One reason is that we want them to be good human beings. It is important that they recognize what is right and wrong. We want them to have good morals, and that includes telling the truth.

Parents have been told by their parents that honesty lies, so they teach their children to lie to protect them. This does not make any sense. What parent would protect their offspring from the truth? The only way that I can see honesty lies is if there is some kind of manipulation going on.

Many parents do not feel that they can say the truth to their children; they fear that they will lose their parental authority. This is not healthy behaviour. Parents are supposed to be the most powerful people in their child’s life. In some instances, this line of thinking has been responsible for all kinds of dysfunctional relationships and marriages. It just is not fair to do this to your kids.

Besides all this lying and manipulation, what is the result of all this? Honestly, I don’t think it is good behaviour. Children should always have a chance to know the truth. Unfortunately, we cannot give them that opportunity.

If you are honest with your children then they will be honest with you. You cannot force them to tell you the truth, but you can show them the truth and make them see that it is not a bad thing. When you do this, you will begin the process of restoration and recovery. The truth will set you free.

Now, what about parents who are not honest? What happens when your children find out that you are not telling the truth? Well, they may well look to someone else to get the truth. They may ask their friends why you aren’t telling the truth. They may decide to investigate.

Some children decide that lying is easier than telling the truth. Some parents start lying just so that they can put a charade in place that their children will no doubt. This is unhealthy behaviour. This unhealthy behaviour leads eventually to dishonesty, lies, and the list goes on.

What can parents do to help their kids avoid lying? First, they need to learn to be honest. This does not mean that they must always be honest to their kids, but they must be honest. Second, parents need to make sure that their children understand why lying is not good and how it is not good. Finally, parents must work hard to support their children’s need to be completely honest.